12.05.2013

And Then We Shall Make Our Awkward Escape

It's my six month "anniversary" at work today, so I am now eligible for sick days. Hooray for the common cold! Only six more months until I earn vacation days, which I think I'm going to use to go to Hawaii with Roommate. After six months, I'm still incredibly grateful for the paycheck, but am still pretty ambivalent about the job itself. Some days, I kind of hate it and want to run away. Some days, I love the work and can see a future here. Most days, I just show up, do my best, and pray that God directs my steps. 

The following is an IM exchange between me and one of my coworkers, right after we had a discussion about our boss occasionally sometimes being somewhat of a...damp...blanket about our fun, which she has very right to be. This conversation is one of the reasons I'm loving my job today, despite it easily being a day that I would want to run away from. Also, it's another piece of evidence in the long campaign to prove that I am not entirely normal. It's like I'm playing a game of Non Sequiturs, except I SWEAR all these things relate.

COWORKER: By the way, my new desk is facing directly towards the dumpster outside that says "Kill Joy" in graffiti. I'm not a fan of this.

ME: Ha!
Sucker of Joy

COWORKER: I have a sneaking suspicion of who may have painted the dumpster.

ME: Haaaaaaaa!

COWORKER: I want to run away Forest Gump style. Like just take off and see how far I can get. But I don't run very fast so probably not a good plan.

ME: I am also slow of foot

COWORKER: :'(

ME: We need a better plan
A getaway car
OR camel

COWORKER: I think camels are also slow.

ME: I don't know. The Middle East has done pretty well with them

COWORKER: I want a donkey.

ME: Plus, who's going to try to catch us when we're on a camel? They're going to give that thing a wide berth.
They spit, you know.
You can have a donkey. I think I'm sticking with a camel.
We'd make an interesting pair, fleeing into the night on our odd quadrupeds.

COWORKER: Tell A to have her husband come with two camels and a donkey. And two eligible bachelors.

ME: Done.
Where are we going to go?
Just pick a direction and gallop?
Or do we have a destination in mind?

COWORKER: Anywhere but the kill joy area.

ME: Tahiti?
Can donkeys swim?
Or do they get seasick? Because we COULD take a boat.

COWORKER: I don't know about donkeys, but I can't. I quit swim class when I was 6.

ME: Boat it is. And LOTS of life preservers
For you AND the donkey

COWORKER: Yesss!

ME: I am all about ass safety

COWORKER: Lol! Me, too. I protect mine at all costs.

ME: I always make sure mine is covered

COWORKER: Pretty much. I really do want to ride a donkey someday, though. And a side car. I've always wanted to ride in a side car.

ME: I just had an image of a donkey WITH a sidecar
And now I'm imagining a drunk donkey.

My brain is a scary place to be.