Bad Decision Tuesday

The Dumbest Decisions I've Ever Made, A Bulleted List

• Moving in with Liar. I still want my $900 back.
• Reading the word "Szechuan" on a restaurant sign aloud as "Saskatchewan." In front of my junior high youth group and pastor. And then not reading their incredulous expressions before wondering aloud at the business viability of a restaurant devoted to such a specific Canadian cuisine.
• Moving in with Crazy Boss Lady. I absolutely regret moving in with a psychopath.
• Being a stupid over-achiever and electing to take high school chemistr. The reasons with decision was dumb is four-fold:
• I had already fulfilled my science requirements 
• the teacher turned out to be a demoralizing jerk and also kind of pervy
• I could have been taking...art? I dunno. My school had very few electives, but anything would have been better than chemistry
• it was the only B I ever got in high school and was the reason I did not get to be Valedictorian 
• Eating all the leftovers in my fridge at the end of college. 
• I regret the stomachache
• I also regret that this was the moment I started gaining back the weight I had just lost
• Not trying out for volleyball in sixth grade when no one knew what they were doing and I would have probably made the team and thus been more active and maybe would not have gotten so heavy during adolescence and would not have had all those wistful moments freshman year when I realized I WAS interested in volleyball and that all the girls already knew what they were doing and there was no chance of me making the team. 
• Blogging about Big Jerk Boss Man from the office. I've recently reread that post and...despite being true, it was MEAN. I'm about 97% sure he read it and I wish I'd never written it, because I know it must have hurt him. I cannot apologize, because he's gone now.
• Bangs.
• Veering toward the ditch instead of the wide open street while playing Bicycle Cops and Robbers with my brother and a neighbor kid. The resulting broken fingers from my desperate attempt to use the handlebar brakes and my hyper-extended fingers ramming into Neighbor Kid's shoulder blade kind of put a damper on that summer. Brand new rock climbing wall at the summer camp facility? Noooooope. Not with a cast on your hand. Swimming in the lake instead? Nooooope. No with a cast on your hand. Changes in barometric pressure fourteen years later? Suuuuuure, if you like dull aches that no painkiller will touch.
• Telling that girl in seventh grade my worst thoughts about myself and my fears about what other people think of me. It was seventh grade. We'd only been friends for a few weeks. How did I not see that coming?
• Those six months I overused the word "spiffy" because I thought it made me seem quirky and interesting. 
• Thinking I could write poetry.
• Resting my head on Travis's shoulder and holding his hand during that play about Thomas Edison. I didn't even like him. I just thought that was what you were "supposed" to do. It wasn't really a big deal, but I still wish I hadn't been so...easily swayed by my peers..
• Allowing my mouth to say stupid things, like the time I told Corey I wanted to sleep with him.
• Putting so many of my worst decisions on this blog.