See Part One.
Roommate decided to study in Italy for the fall semester of our junior year, so I was on my own. We planned to move off-campus into an apartment when she got back, so I decided it would be smartest (and cheapest) to stay one last semester in the dorms. I was assigned a roommate, a sophomore who liked sex, marijuana, and radical communism (which is actually pathetically cliche). We’ll call her Munchie. Munchie wasn’t around for the first half of the semester, since I had told her I was uncomfortable with her boyfriend staying the night in the same room as me (call me old-fashioned, but I don’t fancy trying to sleep next to practical strangers while they fool around). Munchie therefore decided to stay at the boyfriend’s place practically every night. And I had the room to myself. It was really nice. Until they broke up.
It was then, smack dab in the middle of midterms, that I discovered two things about Munchie. First, she snored like a freight train (no human body should be able to produce that decibel). Second, she liked to combine weed, alcohol, and caffeine (this didn’t strike me as healthy, but what do I know?) which resulted in late night munchies. This meant she often microwaved things at three in the morning, regardless of who may have been sleeping with the head of her bed next to the microwave. Luckily, it was only a couple months total and she and the boyfriend got back together before finals. On my last day in the dorms, I went up to my room to get the last of my suitcases and… Well, when I tried to open the door, I found that I couldn’t. Because she and the boyfriend were up against it. Naked. And stoned. Which was a pretty predictable end to that living arrangement.
While I was living with Munchie, I met a girl in one of my classes who was looking to move off-campus, too. Knowing that it would be easier to find a place on three rent budgets instead of two, Roommate and I agreed to have her join us. We found a two and a half bedroom condo (don’t even get me started on the weirdness of this condo arrangement... that’s a whole other post) that seemed nice and was within the price range we could each afford (or so we all agreed...). Roommate came back from Italy,we all moved in, and we all lived happily ever after. Or not.
We had signed a year-long lease in December, but by June, the other girl (I affectionately call her Liar) had bounced every single check she had written to our landlords. There were also many other Liar-based conflicts, but the main problem with that living mistake situation was that we had to break the lease, find new renters, and realize we were out a whole crap-ton of money because of Liar. Roommate and I ended up taking her to small claims court for over $900 of unpaid debt. She didn’t appear and we were granted a default judgement against her, but had no way to take her to collections. She was my worst roommate. Or so I thought...
Still more roommate drama coming up! It gets worse. A lot worse.
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