Things That Are Not Bagels is run by Elise Seaton. But that's not her real name. To find out why she needs a super-secret code name (hint: she is not a spy), see The Rules. To understand the title of this blog, see Roommate and her cream cheese hating ways. To get to know Elise, see her blog. Oh. Wait. That's right... You're here already.

Okay, some basic things:
1. Elise likes both bagels and things that aren't;
2. Elise used to live with the most amazing Roommate in the world (while also living with some of the worst roommates in the world) and now lives with the most amazing Sister in the world (while also living with Satan's Cat);
3. Elise lives in an undisclosed region of the planet that she refers to only as the Far North, which is silly and vague and probably really obvious.
4. Elise is currently unemployed, but still cannot give away her location or her profession, since she hopes to have an income again someday soon, probably in the same industry. 

The rest you'll need to learn on your own.