7.22.2011

I Am Angry; Here's a Cat

I am so full of SPITE and MAD and SPIT and RAGE right now about things that I do not blog about, so instead of writing a whole post of ANGRY, I thought I would leave you with these photos of Satan's Cat.

She is not only evil incarnate, but also a rather theatrical kind of evil: do not fall for the innocent pictures of a soft cuddly kitten. She is death to any he who crosses her. You have been warned.

She is clinging on for dear life. She WILL sit on you, physics be DAMNED!

She's only pretending to sleep. Don't be fooled by the scrunched eyes. She's actually plotting evil.
 
She even has the EVIL EYEBROWS. Or an M on her forehead.
It probably stands for "minion" as in Minion of Satan!


I was facing the other way, minding my business. I glanced to my right and STATUE KITTY.
She pretended not to see me taking the picture.

She only looks cuddly... She's actually flexing her claws to eviscerate me. Again.

Satan's Cat worships fire. Which is a surprise to no one.

Satan's Cat does not have shame. She is only pretending to lull you into complacency.

She is not amused by my "mouse" jokes.

This is the Bucket of Satan's Cat. Do not put ANYTHING in the Bucket of Satan's Cat. Note the eyes...

I can't figure out how she's being evil in this one. Unless this much cuteness is evil. Which, with this cat, might be.

Not only is she being a BUTTHEAD by blocking the TV, but she's also trying to kill me with her lasers. 
Too bad her lasers are like Buzz Lightyear's laser. 


But Satan's Cat is trying to be helpful. But only if helpful means "a pain in the ass."

Satan's Cat is always watching. ALWAYS!

See what happens when people ruin my week? I end up looking like a crazy cat lady-- AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A CAT!

Please come back tomorrow. I'm not promising it will be better. I'm just begging to keep my readership.

15 comments:

  1. Sarcasm Goddess7/22/11, 10:27 PM

    You are freaking hilarious. Sorry things are crappy. Is it time for me to come kick some ass? P.S. Satan's cat is adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I can kick whatever is bothering you in the behind. As cute as Satan's Cat is, I know what it's like to own one so it does not fool me. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OK, I took half of these pictures and the captions still made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Being angry is actually one of the many reasons why I blog. And of course because people say stupid things. Whose cat is it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. It might be that time... We'll wait for now, but I appreciate your enthusiasm. Also, yes. Satan's Cat *is* adorable. It's all part of her plan. Her evil evil plan.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love that you guys don't even need to know what's bothering--you're instantly on my side and protecting me. I wish I had found you people ten years ago!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's because I'm hilarious. I shouldn't have to explain this to you, you know...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Angry posts can be incredibly funny. But I made a rule not to blog about the particular thing that is currently making me so angry. So I'm stuck.

    The cat is fed an house by Sister. But she belongs to Satan. Always.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A theatrical kind of evil?

    That's brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I fully support "crazy cat lady" posts! Especially with pictures!!! Satan's Cat has worked his evil magic on me. I just want to squish his face!

    Oh and hoping the rage subsides... I know I am late on commenting but I am reading the posts in order as if I was good at keeping up with things!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I would claim the brilliance, but she flaunts it so obviously, it's like I didn't come up with it myself... Ah, whatever! I'm taking the credit. Thanks for telling me I'm brilliant. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have to read in order, too!

    Word of caution, however... If you try to squish Satan's Cat's face, she will try to bite your hand off. Fair warning; proceed at own risk.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hate The Unbloggable. But I love me some cats, especially when they are as cute as this one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. it's completely true. she is my Minion. (all cats are my minions, they are furry little demons and i love them for it!)

    ReplyDelete
  15. My mom had to come and check on me because she couldn't tell if I was sobbing hysterically or laughing beyond control. It was the latter :D. You. Are. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete