If You've Never Seen LOST and You Want To (Or You Couldn't Care Less About LOST), This Post Is Not For You

I'm going to have to make this a quick post today, because I have somewhere to be in an hour. But I didn't want to lose the momentum I've built up over the last...er... two days. Um... Yes, well, moving ON.

As many of you know (it's pretty inescapable knowledge if you've been around this blog for more than five minutes), I recently quit my job and am living the life of luxury. If luxury means "all the free time in the world, but no income and the need to buy a car VERY soon..." As many of you also know, Sister is currently between jobs. This is a recipe for lots of fun, but also absolutely no productivity.

We've been watching LOST. I came into the show in the middle of the third season, when they took a really long mid-season hiatus and ABC did a few of those hour long shows that were really just all of the highlights of each season. I stayed loyal through all the rest of the seasons and will not say anything bad about the finale, even though others (Brother and Sister-In-Law included) thought it was less-than-spectacular. Then I bought all the seasons. Or I got them as presents. I can't remember. It's not important.

Sister has never seen the series, except for the occasional episode at Brother and Sister-In-Law's house when THEY were catching up on DVD. She's a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to suspense and the supernatural and--oh who am I kidding? I am, too. In fact, in college, a friend had the first season on DVD and tried to get me to watch it and I chickened out and didn't come back to it for over a year. So I get why she was reluctant to get into it. But now that the show is over and I can warn her about the scary parts, she's willing to try it.

We've been taking it a lot slower than our other TV shows on DVD, since it's a little suspenseful, can get wearing, and we don't watch it as the last thing before bed (this is a good plan for anyone a little fraidy like we are). We started the first season last week and we just finished it today.

Anyway, we were watching the pilot episode. And I was warning her right before freaky things would happen. And we got to the scene in the cockpit with the injured pilot. And I warned her that he was still alive and would gasp awake and scare her (I had also warned her about the copilot falling out of the cockpit door and almost knocking over Kate and Jack and Charlie), that the Smoke Monster would be coming around soon, and that the stupid pilot who stuck his head out of the broken windshield would be getting exactly what one would expect, to be sucked out of the plane and ripped to bloody shreds. She appreciated this.

Now, one of the things I really appreciate (and also simulataneously hate) about J.J. Abrams and his crew is that they really know how to end an episode in the exact wrong spot so that you HAVE to jump to the next episode or disk (or wait desperately for the next week, back when it was on air). Sister is unaware of this element of LOST.

As we all remember, right after they run through the jungle to get away from the Smoke Monster and Kate finds the bloody body up in the tree, everything goes black, the strange exploding musical note plays signalling the end of the episode, and the white letters spelling LOST flash on the screen. I turn to Sister and (to emphasize the cliff-hanger-ness of the show) say, "And that's the end of the pilot."

And then I start laughing hysterically. Sister looks at me odd. Gasping, I spit out, "Completely unintentional double entendre!" She looks puzzled. I point at the screen. "End of the PILOT?"

And this leads me to: Why can't I be this funny ON PURPOSE?