Bad Decision Tuesday

The Dumbest Decisions I've Ever Made, A Bulleted List

• Moving in with Liar. I still want my $900 back.
• Reading the word "Szechuan" on a restaurant sign aloud as "Saskatchewan." In front of my junior high youth group and pastor. And then not reading their incredulous expressions before wondering aloud at the business viability of a restaurant devoted to such a specific Canadian cuisine.
• Moving in with Crazy Boss Lady. I absolutely regret moving in with a psychopath.
• Being a stupid over-achiever and electing to take high school chemistr. The reasons with decision was dumb is four-fold:
• I had already fulfilled my science requirements 
• the teacher turned out to be a demoralizing jerk and also kind of pervy
• I could have been taking...art? I dunno. My school had very few electives, but anything would have been better than chemistry
• it was the only B I ever got in high school and was the reason I did not get to be Valedictorian 
• Eating all the leftovers in my fridge at the end of college. 
• I regret the stomachache
• I also regret that this was the moment I started gaining back the weight I had just lost
• Not trying out for volleyball in sixth grade when no one knew what they were doing and I would have probably made the team and thus been more active and maybe would not have gotten so heavy during adolescence and would not have had all those wistful moments freshman year when I realized I WAS interested in volleyball and that all the girls already knew what they were doing and there was no chance of me making the team. 
• Blogging about Big Jerk Boss Man from the office. I've recently reread that post and...despite being true, it was MEAN. I'm about 97% sure he read it and I wish I'd never written it, because I know it must have hurt him. I cannot apologize, because he's gone now.
• Bangs.
• Veering toward the ditch instead of the wide open street while playing Bicycle Cops and Robbers with my brother and a neighbor kid. The resulting broken fingers from my desperate attempt to use the handlebar brakes and my hyper-extended fingers ramming into Neighbor Kid's shoulder blade kind of put a damper on that summer. Brand new rock climbing wall at the summer camp facility? Noooooope. Not with a cast on your hand. Swimming in the lake instead? Nooooope. No with a cast on your hand. Changes in barometric pressure fourteen years later? Suuuuuure, if you like dull aches that no painkiller will touch.
• Telling that girl in seventh grade my worst thoughts about myself and my fears about what other people think of me. It was seventh grade. We'd only been friends for a few weeks. How did I not see that coming?
• Those six months I overused the word "spiffy" because I thought it made me seem quirky and interesting. 
• Thinking I could write poetry.
• Resting my head on Travis's shoulder and holding his hand during that play about Thomas Edison. I didn't even like him. I just thought that was what you were "supposed" to do. It wasn't really a big deal, but I still wish I hadn't been so...easily swayed by my peers..
• Allowing my mouth to say stupid things, like the time I told Corey I wanted to sleep with him.
• Putting so many of my worst decisions on this blog.

Bright Sides

Sometimes, my job drives me crazy. Sometimes, my coworkers and/or my boss drive me crazy. Sometimes, the mere act of getting out of bed to go to work drives me crazy. Today is not necessarily one of those times, but maybe if I make this list on a good day, I can use it for those other days when I can't see past my tiny, ineffectual, hamster-doing-a-t-rex-impression RAGEARMS.

(Some) Reasons Why I love My Job, In No Particular Order:

1. My coworker EJ is the BEST. She mentors me, she speaks truth into me, she prays for me, and she makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. I love her very much and this job would not be the same without her.
2. My coworker A is so gentle and sweet and kind and supportive. She helps me see the good in all the other people who make me crazy without making me feel guilty that they do indeed make me crazy. She and I are in this together and I appreciate that so much.
3. I get to make a difference, if only in a very small way. This is not just punching a clock.This work is meaningful and I believe in it and I am honored to get to be a part of it.
4. I have my own office and a lot of leeway to do what I want with it. I've never had this before and it's just plain wonderful. I bought a red clock and a desk lamp and a picture frame and rearranged all the furniture. Maybe I'll get a plant next.
5. I have windows in my office. With daylight. This is better than I ever imagined.
6. This job gives me a paycheck. I could say a million things about the size of the paycheck (or lack of size) or the benefits inherent in the paycheck (or lack of benefits), but it's an income. After going so long without one, I am incredibly grateful for this.
7. I have flexible hours, meaning that I don't work most Fridays. And when my folks came to visit and I had no vacation accrued, I was allowed to accrue comp time before they came to pull off half-days while they were here.
8. I get two weeks paid vacation at Christmas. In addition to the two weeks regular vacation I get per year. This is UNHEARD of. Combine that with my parents' air miles and I get to go home to Far North for Christmas for practically no cost.
9. This job is challenging. I am using a skill set that I've never used in a professional setting before and it is stretching me. I don't always have the answer and that's new for me. And I kind of love it.
10. I have health insurance. And the premium is entirely paid by my employer. Even if the coverage is crap (I think it's decent), this is excellent. I no longer fear that my appendix is going to rupture violently and I'll live the rest of my life in enormous medical debt. Now to go get my flu shot...
11. We're donor-supported, which is usually a pain in the ass, but every once in a while, I get to see staggering examples of human generosity. That's pretty cool.
12. I have the ability to work from home when I want/need. This is very helpful and totally saved my butt a few weeks ago when I was ill, but needed the hours. Yay, working in pajamas!
13. I don't have to job hunt. Seriously, one of the best parts of HAVING a job is that I no longer have to LOOK for a job or INTERVIEW for a job. I think this may be my favorite part of having a job.
14. It gives me a purpose for my days, an avenue for my talents, and a hope for my future. There's not much more I can ask for.

I could totally make a longer list of things I HATE about my job, but a) no one wants to read that and b) that's not really helpful to me in keeping this job or being happy about having it. And there are probably many more things I could add to this list (and I might, if I think of them), but this is what's in my head now. And seriously, you guys? EJ is about the wisest and funniest person I've ever met and she's working at this location today (she's usually across town). She makes me want to write list after list like this one.

Do you have an EJ in your life? Or a list of positives you need to focus on? Tell me in the comments and we'll all help each other look on the bright side today.