My Life Isn't Interesting

So, over a week ago, I posted a really obnoxious survey. And at the end, I promised to answer any questions you might ask as a reward for completing that ridiculous questionnaire. I got a lot of awesome answers, but only one question. So I put off posting the answer until I got more responses. Then I realized that this was all I was going to get. Then I forgot to upload the photo. Then I got home last night and watched a not-so-great movie and forgot to post it. So, here we are, over a week later, on a Tuesday (this fact is not relevant or important, but I like the word Tuesday), and I am finally posting it.

And by the way, this photo as taken right after I saw the question, so I'm following your rule, Kim. I'm only late in posting, not in taking the picture. This is my nightstand (or as some call it, bedside table):

And here is my nightstand with number labels so that I can inform you about how not interesting my life is. Ready? I thought so.

      1. My lamp. I have had this lamp since the sixth grade. It has been dropped and broken, so it has a crack that has been sealed with some kind of clear glue. Also, it has one of those new eco-friendly light bulbs in it that's all funny shaped. And the shade of this lamp is supposed to attach to the bulb, so the shade teeters and slips all the time. Yes, I know you can buy them to look like regular light bulbs. NOW. Now I know that. Where were you before, huh? Geez! Oh, and the light bulb buzzes, which is kind of obnoxious. Interesting, no? No. Alright, moving on.

      2. My super cool insulated cup from Walmart (Let's just get this out of the way right now: yes, I occasionally shop at Walmart and no, I don't care who knows it). It kind of looks like a Starbucks cold cup, but it's covered in lime green polka dots and has a matching straw. Which is awesome! I also have one with red polka dots. I usually keep a cup with a lid next to my bed, since I get thirsty at night and I live with Satan's Cat.

      3. A small glass of water. Because sometimes I like to live dangerously. Except it's here because I was too lazy to go find my cute cup when I was thirsty, not because I'm particularly risky (I should have known the cute cup was by my bed, since that's where I keep it...). This cup sat here for three days. Also because of my laziness. Which is not notable. But the fact that the cup remained in this position for three days with the water remaining inside the cup for all of those days is a testament to the capriciousness of Satan's Cat. It's actually still there, more than a week later, since I'm sleeping in Sister's room right now. Watch, I'll post about this and then Satan's Cat will spill it all over the place tonight.

      4. My iPhone charging cord. Which I only just plugged in near my bed for reasons that even I just don't understand. I used to keep it across the room... And then someone would text me at night and I would have to go get it to text back or make it stop buzzing. I think it may have been an outlet-space issue. But really, there's no excuse for this kind of ridiculousness. So now it's next to the head of my bed and I can text or tweet long past the time I should have been asleep.

      5. The remote to my SkullCandy Pipe that I got for Christmas last year (thanks, Mom!). And yes, that does sound vaguely like drug paraphernalia. Okay, more than vaguely. And the website kind of plays into that. But really all it is, is a speaker system for an iPhone or iPod. So I dock my iPod and can then control my music from the rest of the room. Which is sweet! The remote is on my nightstand because I listen to my lullaby every night. What is my lullaby? I'm glad you asked. My lullaby is an instrumental song by Josh Kelley called 23 on his album To Remember, which you can preview here (I tried to find a better link for it, but this was the best I can do. But go listen. It's totally worth it! I mean, I listen to it every night, so it's gotta be good, right? Right.)

      6. A book called Finally Thin! by Kim Benson, a woman who lost 212 pounds with WeightWatchers. It was given to me by a friend who knew I was already doing WeightWatchers (so it's not like they were calling me fat or anything). It's basically a description of her journey, not a weight-loss plan or anything. It's actually really funny and also kind of eye-opening, so I encourage anyone who's struggling with weight issues to read it.

      7. Another book, Young Adult Fiction this time. It's The Throne of Fire by Rick Riordan (he's the guy who wrote the Percy Jackson books). It's the second in his Kane series, which is about a brother and sister who have just discovered they're descendants of the gods of ancient Egypt and have magical powers. It's pretty good so far. I liked the first one, too, so if you're looking for something new to read, check it out.

      8. A metal bookmark with cute charms hanging off of the end. My father made it. Now would probably be a good time to tell you that my mom and dad own a very small jewelry business, which is more of a hobby from which they sell their creations. They order the semi-precious stones from various companies and then design necklaces, bracelets, and earrings to sell at craft fairs and small weekend markets (no soldering involved, just stringing and crimping wire). For Christmas a few years ago, my dad made a my sister and I each a bookmark. He chose the charms himself--different ones for each of us. It was very sweet and it makes me smile every time I look at it (which I think may have been his nefarious plan). Mine has two different butterflies, the Statue of Liberty, a little girl praying, and a colorful strand of beads. I don't remember what Sister's has, but I'm pretty sure none of it means he loves her more than me. Because we all know he loves me best. Right, Papa? Right?

      9. Two issues of Women's Health Magazine. One of them has Julianne Hough on the cover not wearing enough clothing (tiny denim shorts and a bandeau bikini top). The other has "Glee's Heather Morris" on the cover not wearing enough clothing (a hot pink bikini and a jean jacket--Why a jean jacket? I have no idea...). One of the magazines claims to be a "Special Weight-Loss Issue!" but I have to wonder which issues of Women's Health aren't about weight-loss... Anyway, Roommate gave me a subscription for Christmas and I haven't been near my post office box enough to have read much of them (my job makes me relocate for a quarter of each year and also: Sister and I are terrible mailbox checkers). But I totally plan to read them, because it was a nice gift and I could use the advice. I just kind of resent the tiny, half-naked girls on the cover...

       10. A cute gift bag filled with ridiculous dollar items from Sister. You see, after I got home from living with Crazy Boss Lady and was so...damaged..., Sister did everything she could to cheer me up. And to make me feel loved and safe. What better way to do that, than to get me a gift bag filled with squirt guns, pinwheels, coloring books, crayons, a magic wand (that lit up and sparkled!), a pull string disc launcher thingy, and a notebook with a Schrute Buck for a cover? No other way! I laughed so hard when I opened it and we had a lot of fun playing with all the stuff (especially the disc launcher, which drove Satan's Cat out of her mind). However, you may wonder why this bag is still next to my nightstand over a year later. Well, what does one do with a bag full of things like this once one has sucked the fun out of the marrow of each item? Like you, I have no idea. Plus, I'm lazy, so that's where they live until Godson or some other child visits and I realize I need some age-appropriate toys. Which is handy, let me tell you!

      11. This is a crate of Play-Doh that was also in the bag. It is unopened, which is sad. But I've never really had a good opportunity to break out the PlayDoh. I'm not sure why I need a good opportunity for Play-Doh, but I've been waiting for it. Maybe tonight's the night. Except Sister is still out of town and it is kind of sad and pathetic to be a 24-year-old playing with Play-Doh alone on a Tuesday night (again, I'm pretty sure it's not relevant or important that it's Tuesday, but... Umm.... It's my blog so there. HA!) [I'm not quite sure why I linked to Play-Doh, or even why it's spelled "Play-Doh" (I keep doing the Homer Simpson "Doh!" every time I type it), but it is trademarked, so I thought it might be wise...]

So, there you have it. That's my nightstand as it looked one Saturday earlier this month. I hope you've realized just how interesting my life is (read: not interesting at all) through this process and I encourage all of you to take pictures of random surfaces in your home and give an inventory to strangers on the Internet. It's actually kind of liberating. Liberating from what kind of bondage, I have no idea. But people seem to be feel liberated a lot and I think this might be what they're feeling. Either that, or I'm hungry. It is 8:30 pm and I haven't had dinner yet. But we'll say liberated. Sure.


  1. Now I am satisfied.
    This has taught me a lot about you. This post has given me more of a summary of who you are than any "About" page could. We've covered work, family, fun, history, and priorities. Coolio. And I didn't even see the bookmark or the 1st book (must call eye doctor...), so your numbering system was quite helpful.
    Maybe we should all do this little exercise and use it as our About page?

    PS I find nothing wrong with a 24yo woman constructing things out of Play Doh when alone at night. I mean, what an awesome array of colors you have! You could totally make some technicolor versions of the characters from Lightening Thief and re-enact a bit of the book. How cool would that be?

    PPS I used to wake up to find one of my cats sticking his/her head in my water glass back in the day. Now I drink from taller glasses with a circumference smaller than their heads. It is all about winning the crazy Cat war one battle at a time.

  2. I'm glad you liked it! I was all afraid it wouldn't be enough to make a whole post of it. Apparently, I underestimate my own verboseness. Verbosity? Verbocaciousness? I guess I can make any topic last longer than is natural or necessary.

  3. You cracker me up! You have such a dry sense of humor that I just LOVE. I'm off to check out this really obnoxious survey that I must have missed. Get ready to start answering.

  4. I can't wait! I know you're going to ask awesome questions. And I hope I'll have some awesome answers for you.