11.03.2011

Buckat or A Square Shaped Feline

Satan's Cat has taken to sitting in very strange places. Do you remember when I said that she plays a game we call Statue Kitty? Where you look at her and she's sitting all primly in one spot, completely ignoring you, but if you look away and look back, she's somewhere else entirely, in the exact same pose and still ignoring you? That game? Well, anyway, this is not really like that. So... Um.Right.

It's not really a game. And it's not so much the same position. It's just that she's (all of the sudden) gravitating toward some really ridiculous places to hang out. So we'll be wandering around the house and come upon her and just shake our heads in confusion. It all started with Bucket Cat, or Buckat as we've taken to calling it. Then it was other buckets. And containers. Then it was anything at all, really.

You know what, pictures demonstrate this much better. And I had planned this to be a photo-heavy post. So let's move on.

The original Bucket Cat.
Variations on the Buckat Theme
Ah am TEH RULER OF TEH BUCKET! As such, I think I am entitled to a little PRIVACY in my bucket.
We know she has always liked to perch in inconvenient, but relatively normal (for a cat) places to sit:

You're making cookies? I don't thinks so, fatty. I will sit here and judge your food choices. And block the oven.
If I sit here long enough and nonchalantly enough, maybe you won't notice when I try to roam the counter-tops...
But some of the places she chooses to sit are purposefully (I swear!) unhelpful. Because the world revolves around her and if you do ANYTHING that does not focus on her, she will take matters into her own hands paws to get your attention back:

I will not TELL you to stop messing with the computer. But I WILL make it incredibly difficult for you to ignore me.
This show is stupid; pay attention to me instead. What laser eyes? Oh, that's just some of the demon coming out of me.
We've BEEN OVER this whole computer thing!
I may look cute and snuggly, but I really just think crossword puzzles are  BORING!
But recently, she's decided that being Buckat was not enough. She MUST CONQUER ALL CONTAINERS!

I will sit in this bucket for twenty minutes, six times a day, for the rest of time. Just watch me. Every time you look, I will BE IN THIS BUCKET. No, I don't CARE that it's a BOX. It's a BUCKET to ME.
Yep. I found another bucket. I think you underestimate my devotion to these buckets... They don't even need to be open!
What do you mean "I don't think this qualifies as a bucket?" It's a squarish container that I fit into. It also has the side benefit of being really inconvenient for you and you laundry pursuits. It's a BUCKET!
I know this drawer wasn't open a minute ago. I opened it. Duh.
ALL cats like paper bags. Stop judging me.
And then she was no longer content to rule only the buckets and set out on a quest to rule All Things Squarish, container or not. The first prong of her battle plan was to take on the towels. All towels must now submit to her and her...royal sittage.

You put this towel here for me, right? So that when you take your bath, I can be warm and relaxed, too, right? It wasn't for your neck, right? That's what I thought.
I have claimed this towel. Go away now and let us be alone for a little while.
This one is little, but it put up a heck of a fight. I MUST SUBDUE IT!
After all the towels were conquered, she moved on to all the other squarish HARD things:

Not only have I taken over this vent, but I am stealing all your warms, too. MUAHAHAHA!
I love when you do projects on the floor! In a few minutes, I will sit on top of a picture frame and conform my body to its exact shape, but I will run away before you can take the picture. FYI.
What is this "clipboard" thing you speak of?
I'm not sure what the compulsion is for her. But it makes for an interesting time at our house. You never know where you're going to find her, but you're pretty much assured she will be on top of something strange or inconvenient in a mostly squarish shape.

Staying home all day has turned me into such an intellectual, poignant, and relevant blogger, don't you think?

9 comments:

  1. Sarah Pearson11/3/11, 3:04 PM

    I was going to say something witty and/or profound, but I got distracted by the cute kitty.

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  2. Also, you totally saved my morning. I don't know if you know this, but The Sarcasm Goddess is over there posting country music songs and depressing everyone. I was on my way to take a bottle of Xanax when I was suddenly cheered by several pictures of the cutest cat ever. It is hard to narrow it down, but I think I like the one where she is all wadded up on that incredibly tiny towel.

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  3. Sarcasm Goddess sent me - I'm in love with your Buckat. Mine has mostly abandoned the "try to fit into it" stage, and moved onto "I will sit on it and show it who's boss." Because when you're over 20 lbs, sitting is almost the only option.

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  4. That's how she gets away with everything she does. Because the cuteness is so darn distracting. But watch out, those claws are razor sharp and she has the cunning of ten con men. Just ask the towels...

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  5. I TOLD her to listen to four of them and write a short story. I DID NOT tell her to bum us all out with sad song lyrics and sassy commentary. But I really can't complain---it was brilliant!

    And the tiny towel one? Her face is just so... I have no words, but it's funny, right?

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  6. She gets weirder with every passing year. She's always been skinny, but I wouldn't put it past her to gain 20 lbs JUST to be more obnoxious. ;)

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  7. Cassandra Sabo11/4/11, 4:57 PM

    Your cat is a-dor-a-ble. Makes me miss mine terribly. She was the same way about computers, crossword puzzles, and floor projects.

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  8. I love your KITTEH! You must go see my Sir Julius the Orange post I did recently!

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