Forgive My Typos--My Hands Are Frozen Claws

It's officially winter here in Far North (I think I may have already said that on this blog or maybe on Twitter, but I cannot be bothered to go check). There's over a foot of snow on the ground, I feel like hibernating every evening at about 5:00 pm, and we've seen negative numbers several days in a row. And that's not "negative" like below freezing. That's "negative" like below zero degrees Fahrenheit.

This is last night's read-out from Sister's car, when we ran out to buy some food that we didn't actually end up buying. We didn't steal it or anything. We just didn't end up buying any food. It was kind of a wasted trip. OH! We returned movies. That's why we went out. AND we also wanted food. We were incredibly disappointed. In related news, WHAT IS UP with grocery stores in Far North closing before 9:00 pm? Seriously? What. Is. Up.

You know this summer, when people were complaining about the heatwave in the Midwest? I was kind of jealous. Okay, not really, because I cannot survive in anything over 80 degrees. Because I am a wimp and a sweater. No, I'm not a piece of clothing. I mean I sweat a lot. But only from the head, which makes me look like I just climbed out of the shower all summer. If the shower smelled badly and also made my face blotchy. Sorry, these are details that no one really needed to know. I've got a bit of an over-share thing going on right now. Anyway, the reason I bring up the heatwave is that people would kinda-sorta-almost-BRAGGISHLY say things like "It's 110 degrees today. IN THE SHADE!"

So  now I'm going to kinda-sorta-almost-BRAGGISHLY say "It was 7 degrees today. IN THE SUNSHINE!"

That's right. Seven. Like the number that comes before 8 and after 6. The number that apparently caused fear in the number six by consuming the number nine. Seven. For any of you who haven't experienced that particular degree of heat, let me just say that it is a mite bit CHILLY. 

Now, normally, I would be all complainy about the fact that I have to warm my car and scrape the ice off the windows and drive home from work all shivery and sad (and terrified). But I don't have a job. And I DO have a heated garage. And a sister who prefers driving over being driven. So my car is almost always at least 50 degrees when I leave my house and I don't stay places very long. So I won't complain about chilly cars. Or being chilly on my way to and from places. Because I don't really GO places.


But you know what I will complain about? Our furnace. It seems to have a problem. You see, we like to keep our house at 70 degrees. This is too hot for Brother and Sister-In-Law (who prefer about 65) and too cold for my parents (who prefer 72, although their house always seems colder than that so who knows...). I'm sure you each have a preference on this and I'm sure there will be some of you who say "Seventy? That is too hot! And expensive! And not Earth Friendly!" and I have to say that I really don't care. That's just where we keep it. Well, where we would if it weren't for our BLASTED furnace.


Like I said, we keep it at 70 when we're home, but if we're out or sleeping, we keep it at 66. And it's on a timer (set for the times we would usually leave for and return from work and when we go to bed and get up), so it switches automatically. Except when it gets cold out or the filter needs to be replaced (EVERY OTHER BLASTED MONTH it seems) or when it's feeling lonely and sad and needs a hug or for any other reason we cannot currently divine. Then it likes to stay at 66 all day. And no matter how high you put it, it blows cold air half the time and cannot seem to get any higher. Then, this morning, we woke up and it was 63. That is chilly! Especially when it's negative degrees outside.

Now, Sister is doing everything she can and should in order to keep us warm. This is not a post complaining about her or the house she lets me live in for ridiculously cheap rent that doesn't even need to be on time. This is a post complaining about the BLASTED furnace that is like a TEENAGE GIRL in its mood swings. And I WAS a teenage girl. I know ALL ABOUT the mood swings.

So, the whole point of this post has been to say, "You guys, I'm really cold today." Which I guess would have saved us almost 700 words. But whatever. Don't blame me. My brains are cold and I'm not thinking straight. I think I'm going to go boil my body in the gigantic bathtub in Sister's bathroom, which she also generously lets me use (see, Sister? NO COMPLAINING FROM ME!).

Wishing you warmth and... more warmth,
Elise