Who Does Steve Roach Think He Is?

FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS! I wrote 50,000 words this month. Actually, that's not true, because my blog posts are, on average, 800 words and I'm not even counting them in the 50,000 total. Actually, I have no idea if that average is true, but it sounds about right. Where was I? Oh, yes. MY NOVEL. You guys, I finished it! Actually, that's not true either. Apparently, I have become a liar.

Here is the truth. This month, I have written:

  • 30 blog posts (of questionable entertainment or literary value)
  • 50,000 words in novel form (also of questionable entertainment or literary value)
  • 6 post-it notes about nothing
  • 1 Christmas list
  • My name on credit card slips, more often that I care to admit.
My novel is not finished, but I did reach 50,000 words. Exactly 50,000. Because I am a little bit compulsive about numbers. And I am a little rebellious about writing assignments--I will DO IT, but I will do it to the limit and NO MORE. I'm not sure what that's about. I'm sure if I can ever afford a therapist, she would have some interesting things to say about that.

Anyway, I finished NaNoWriMo!! I really wasn't sure it was going to happen there at the end, but I managed to pull  it off. And I'm so happy I did. First of all, failure and I? We don't get along well. Secondly, it was an excellent way to do the thing I'm always TALKING about doing, but I never actually DO: write. The story has some major flaws and there's so much of it left to tell, but I feel like I've accomplished so much already.

So thank you, for all the words of encouragement you left in the comments. They pushed me on like nothing else could have. Except for Sister, who occasionally threatened to lock me in my room and sometimes withheld TV time until my words were done for the day. Thanks, everyone. You all made this an awesome experience!

This post also marks the end of NaBloPoMo! I can't believe I didn't miss a single day. I mean, I might have missed the mark some days, but I never missed a POST, so that's something. Some of you have asked if I'm going to keep posting daily. And I am! To the best of my ability and Internet connection, I am. Except on Sundays. Because I need an occasional break. And the Sunday posts were lame anyway. I would encourage you guys to go back and read them to verify the veracity of my previous statement, but they aren't worth the effort.

Thank you all for showing up here day after day to read my stuff. I know I tear it down more often than I say anything nice, party because a lot of it IS crap. But I am so glad I started this blog and I am incredibly grateful for the friendships I have made in this community. I'm also very grateful to have a place to share my thoughts with the world. Thanks for being willing to listen. And laugh at my lame jokes.

So now, on to the real post. I know, minds boggle at the fact that the preceeding 500 words were not the actual post. But it's true. I have a story to tell you.


Last night, I wrote over 7,000 words on my novel. I don't remember if I shared it with you at the time, but my previous daily word record was about 6,200 words. And I thought that was amazing. But last night, I just let it all flow from my fingertips. Because I was on a deadline. And I was not going to fail. And for once, the words were there. I crawled into bed at about 3:15 in the morning. But I was still incredibly jazzed from the writing experience. And probably some of the caffeine I'd consumed throughout the day (I totally tried to give it up this week and my brain almost exploded).

Anyway, I was in bed, kind of jittery and pretty excited about where the book was headed. To calm down, I read about 50 pages of magic pantsiness and then my eyes were SO SLEEPY. But I still had all this pent up energy buzzing through my limbs. I have been here before. So I grabbed my phone and started catching up on my feedreader. I read Temerity Jane's cosmo post. And I tired not to wake up Sister with my laughter, which started from the first paragraph and didn't end until long after I put my phone down.

Seriously, go read that thing. It's AMAZING. I'll wait.

I finished reading and decides blogs are too stimulating at that hour. I needed some sleepy-time music. I could feel myself calming down and sinking into my pillows, but I wasn't not quite there yet. I left my stereo remote across the room and even though the stereo is PRIMED with sleepy-time type music, I am too lazy to get out of bed and got get it. Instead, I found some headphones on my nightstand and had a brilliant idea. Because Pandora ALWAYS has what I ask it for. Except for a station based on my lullaby by Josh Kelly called "23." Sad about this, but still tired, I typed in "lullaby" and clicked on a station that DIDN'T say "toddler" or "child."

This station's called "Soundscapes & Lullabies." At first, it was just simple instrumental music. The next song sounded like flowing water, with piano played over it. It was at this point, I thought I might need to pee. The next song was very soothing, but the one after that was kind of strange. It sounded kind of New Agey, but also kind of futuristic. And there was this weird sonar pinging in the background. So I turned on the phone to figure out what THE HECK WAS GOING ON. And I saw this:

I took this picture today (since I had paused the song last night) which is why the time looks wrong. I swear I would never lie to you! I know you're all too smart to buy it.

Leaving the weird cave painting of an alien superimposed over what seems to be the internal structure of a computer out of the discussion, what the HECK does this mean? Seriously, Steve Roach, what the heck kind of title IS that for an album?

I mean, "dreaming..." is not a terrible title for an album, poor capitalization and ellipsis use aside. But you don't stop there, do you, Steve Roach? No, you don't. I don't even really know what the rest of this MEANS! Seriously, "now, then"  "a retrospective" "1982-1997"? Is this the musical form of all of your dreams between 1982-1997. It would kind of explain the cover art, to tell you the truth. But raises some serious questions about your dreams, Steve Roach.

But as I lay there in bed, staring at this image, all I could think about was TJ's commentary about Cosmo's view of sex. Apparently, Cosmo thinks sex has changed SO MUCH in the last year that they need to distinguish their sex tips by putting them in a "best of the year 2011" category. Because last year's sex tips are so out. Or something. Anyway, having just read THAT, all I could think about this nonsense was, "CRAP! They've changed sleep, too!"

I wasn't too worried about them changing sex--I'm sure I'll catch up when the time is right. But sleep? I LIKED sleep! HOW HAS IT CHANGED and WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW? Come on, Steve Roach! I need ANSWERS!

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